Selamat Tahun Baru 2014! Tahun baru semangat baru? Aha- not for me. Tahun baru sebagai pembuka tirai alahan yang agak teruk lah bagi diri ini. Demimu anak, mommy rela menanggungya. :')
Lets recap my 2013. Takdelah menda yang menarik untuk dikongsi. Tapi sebagai nota untuk dikenang kembali di waktu tua nanti. Almaklum diri dah semakin berusia, sel-sel otak dah semakin menyusut. Hehehe
Penghujung 2012 masuk rumah baru di Puchong. Agak dekat dengan UM, tapi disebabkan jammed, menjadikannya semakin lama. Minyak terbazir macam tu je. Sudahlah minyak mahal. Hehehehe. Awal-awal kitorang masuk sini lif selalu rosak sebab ada budak-budak suka main lif. Geram lah jugak, nak menapak aik ke tingkat 7. Dengan semputnya lagi. Hurm. Alkisahnya budak tu pernah tersekat dalam lift sebab dia sendal pintu lif dengan kayu. Harap lepas ni adik insaf lah ye. Tak baik menyusahkan orang. Huhu. Life kat sini tak se'best' Sepang. Sini dah masuk area bandar kan. Jiran pegi keje balik keje. Sangat bohsan! Tapi bersyukurlah, orang lain takde rumah pun nak berlindung dari hujan panas. Ye dak? Sobs :'(
Lepas hampir 12 purnama berhempas pulas, akhirnya Allah bagi izin untuk mendapatkan result. Di tengahari hening, terus mesej Prof dengan sendu. Hehehe. Memang sangat bersyukur. Dan Prof pun macam touching-touching je. Ye lah, result ni affect reputation dia kot. Memang banyak adegan air mata semata-mata nk dapatkan result part ni. Hehehe. Alhamdulillah.
LIL' CALIPH IN MY WOMB :
Alhamdulillah Disember 2013 saya dan suami direzekikan dengan segumpal darah yang berusia 4w di dalam rahim ku. :') Alhamdulillah thumma Alhamdulillah. Syukran Allah for such blessings. Kami rindu! Rindu! Rindu!-kan little caliph ini :') EDD insyaAllah pada 13 Ogos 2014. Di waktu orang tengah galak makan ketupat lemang rendang. Harap-harap sempat merasa. Ameeeen :)
Sekarang ni dah nak masuk 3rd month. Mommy tengah gian mendengar lagu-lagu raya evergreen. Tak tahu pasal apa. Mungkinkah pembawakan budak? Semoga sayang sihat-sihat selalu ye.
Alhamdulillah, I was so surprised last nite. I got two faint line as I tested my urine! Alhamdulillah, after 1 year and plus, Allah gave me a chance to seeing it over again. Only He knows how missed I am to re-experience that great feelings :')
Last night :
But, automatically something crossed to my mind. I just finished my menses and I am on medication right now. I told myself to be relax and acted cool. Tomorrow morning, lets re-check. And things went back as usual, was watching bola with husband. Terengganu vs Kelantan. And I condemned both groups for such performance?! It was not interesting at all. But nice shoot from Kelantan for their 2nd goal. Thats all. Sorry for being to frank. Hahaha.
This morning :
Before Subuh, early in the morning I get up and did urine test. And as expected, I got 1 line. Yeah, it was chemical pregnancy. Thanks Allah. At least, I could feel the fullest excitement last nite before going back to my sense. Ngehngehngeh. Allah is the Most Almighty.
For those who are still thinking what is chemical pregnancy, hope these will help :
Hye all! Sorry for the long hiatus. Haha. Life was so tough recently but Alhamdulillah, with hubby's, parents', siblings', fav aunty's, aunties, lecturers' and friends' (of course!) support, I can face it all. Wah, bravo ME! hehe.
Point No 1. # Facebook statuses/ updates
Si A : 'Alhamdulillah, 2 lines clearly appeared. Thanks God!'
Si B : 'Alhamdulillah, penantian berakhir. Semoga kehadiran si cilik menceriakan lagi rumah tangga kami'
and it continues..
Alhamdulillah, I have get myself fully prepared for it and I congratulate all of you with such happy news, and for those whom are still waiting for good news, do not stress out yourself too much. Yeah, I know being positive is not an easy pz tingy, but lets give it a try, Okay? It's okay to 'pause' yourself for a while, but please do not always put yourself in sadness. For your information, I am a part of you, too :)
Point No 2. # Be positive!
Before, I was always in negative mood, always thinking about getting pregnant plus not working experiment which did not even generate me any data?! It was my Monster stories. Nowadays, I am quite relax, enjoying my so-so life, and Alhamdulillah I got the result for my experiment (after struggling almost 1 yr for that part) AND hopefully this will be my last effort throughout my Master's degree journey. Oh my degreee, I sacrificed a lot of tears only for you. Kuang3.
Point No 3. # Get closer to Allah
Lately I changed a lot. I have decided to. Nobody can change me except meself. What I learnt was, always put Allah in front of your problems. Allah gave us the problem, and only He can solve it for us (of course with efforts). Back to HIM.
When I was in my first degree time, I was an ambitious student (i was not a best student, tho). I trained myself to get (MUST) what I WANT, and I will struggle for it. And at last, I will be the happiest person in the world. But I was not totally frustrated if I failed (at least I still have some faith left in me, its all about Qada' and Qadr). Something to highlight here, the thing is getting a way too different now. I realized that not every time I can get what I want. Allah will put hardships throughout our journey just to make us realize that we still have Allah in this world. He is the one whom we can share everything with. Every single tiny thing. Full stop.
Point No 4. # Dont ever look to others who are higher than you
This is the most crucial point. Please, NEVER compare yourself to others, especially the one who is much more better than you. Come on, we have different faces, different skin tones, different heights and weights, then how come you expect yourself to be just like others? A big NO for this. After all these hardships, I tell myself to always look at other people who are under/below you. It's a kind of self-motivation actually. Be grateful with what you are having now. No need to make comparison between us all. Allah had created us all perfectly, with perfect plannings too (Its Qada' and Qadr). But it does not mean you do not need to put some efforts on it. Sometimes, looking at people who are better than you (I mean their performances) is good for motivation. I can not deny this. But please do not blame Allah for His tests. Just like my case, we have been tested with miscarriage and up till now, I am still not fully-recovered. Only us and family know how much have we spent for treatments. DO NOT SIGH BACK. This is all a fruity rewards for us, Insya Allah. The same case with my failed experiments. Allah wants me to add more knowledge in this area. So HE failed me many times and once He succeeded me, I was feeling like crying. The feeling was different. Its worth me! Alhamdulillah.
#Saying goodbye #
Ok. It's Zuhur already. Time to stop blabbering. Trust me, writing this entry did not mean to tell others that I am sooo goood. Nope! I just think I should write this for my reference. Our imaan yazid wa yanqus (Increase and decrease). I will get back to this entry to comfort myself. I am no perfect creature. Sometimes I will feel down. It's normal, just prevent it from going overlimit. I talk about this entry in my small context. Please do not compare it with others. Thank you. Till next time. Wassalam